Tuesday, September 27

Pushing Forward...

The leaves are changing colors and my favorite season is finally here. I'm happy for the arrival of fall even more than usual. With summer over, I hope to start to push forward with my life. The changing season reminds me that all of us have to face changes we can't control in our lives. 

I can't help but look at the transition of the trees and think of how my own life has changed since losing my mom. I keep replaying the last conversations, moments, laughs...everything shared between us before she died. I keep wondering if she really, really, REALLY knew how much I loved her, how much she grounded me, encouraged me to be the wife and mother that I am...that I strive to be. 

My mom was my best friend. We talked everyday...sometimes several times a day and that's gone now. I told her I loved her whenever we said goodbye, but it still doesn't seem like I said it enough. Experiencing this kind of loss has reshaped my thinking about what's important. 

I believe living life to the fullest and loving the ones in your life by being present, emotionally engaged is what matters most. Dealing with loss...choosing to change and adapt to life's heartaches takes time and healing. It's a journey I haven't traveled before, but I'm not walking it alone.